substitute vs necessity

I'm not clever in counting, anything deals with number. I prefer to think things around me that I'll meet everyday or someday. Dats why i love to apply anything concerning to business that taught to me class to my daily life as my belief.

In Eco class... I learned about necessities goods, luxury goods, substitute goods and many many other goods which not all of them is "good" goods in fact. Besides, I also learned in Marketing class that there are many products such as captive product, optional product, exc...

This make me start to evaluate my self. What kind of good i think i am? What kind of good i am in the eyes of my family & friends? I used to do a test and i felt quite accurate which said that i am the kind of person who will put others more important than myself (in term of the way they think about me) Before i do something, i will consider "what will people think if i do this?" instead of think"if i do this, is it really good to me?"

No offense, it brings both advantage and disadvantage to me. The advantages are there are people who used to told me that they admire me because i'm unic. I know how to behave myself, i'm calm, good in controlling my emotion, i'm proffessional, and able to manage my self not do a thing by follow a blindly desire without thinking the consequences. Some even said this is a "good" thing from me. It differs me from others... I can control my desire not to hang out to many exciting place to have fun, not bevcause i don't like, but i'll tend to evaluate de personallity of people i'm going to hang out with before i go with them. What value he or she holds? 1 night stand? drugs? maniac? no no no... nothing to do with them! i already mix too much with these kind of ppl since i was 16. Craps!

Next, de disadvantages... I guess most of my frnd will agree with dis one, they often remind me, scolded me, advice me... until all of them reach tro a common level... FED UP. I've no idea, no offense, it will ruin my opportunities, it won't contribute to my self improvement. Again i have to say, i will change...

And a bout de goods i mentioned just now, I don't care how many goods in the market as long as i know what type of good i am. I can be any good but sustitute good. Previously, i always be a necessity good for my ex(es), i used to be treat dat way, so pls undestand if sometimes i am stubborn.

Yes, i'm not the best girl, but 1 day i didn't let me become substitute, i'm unreplaceable. Everybody still pay respect to me. But once i'm letting my self to be a substitite, no matter how good i am, i'm still a substitute...i'll lost my dignity. I'll thing that do i just worth to be a substitute instead of necessity? Do I that terrible? I never ever can persuate myself to be a substitude good. I don't know where i get this funny thought about this, maybe people will say i think too much, but yes, dats me and i persist on value that i hold, same as in seeking my another half. Before considering whether a person suit with me, I'll only demand 2 things from them

1. NO MATTER how good are their requirements (rich, good looking, steady, have a high social status), if they not love me enough... It's just A DREAM

2. NO MATTER how much he love to me (dote me, care me ), if he belongs to somebody else.... It's just A DREAM

I WON'T BOTTHER TO A THING WHEN I KNOW IT'S JUST A DREAM

You ask me why i write down this? Because everytimes we have girls talk in my room with few close frnds to we share about our stories, our dream man& our dream, most of the times they will tell me "Dear Steffi, you expect too much, normally the type of guy you expected has already married or taken." and here I CAN TELL YOU that i won't rush and have no reason to rush with other people's belongings.

People might be said health is de most important thing, after that is love, and then happiness, and last wealth. But i'm sorry, for me, nothing is more important than my DIGNITY... you may say it as ego or pride but for me, without dignity, there's no meaning for a person to life. So friends, please be informed that i'm a rational person. No matter how crush i am with some one, there are many things i will include to my consideration. Maybe i always blur in many things, but if it's deal with my future... my life... I 'M TOTALLY AWAKE

my principle VS business principle

In my 1st semester here, i met a lecturer who taught me fundemantal of management, Mr Mani ... (poor thing dats de only time i scored A cos dat time i haven't so active in club. Hehe no offense, i'm not a clever girl. When others only need 1 hour to study a particular note, i need 2... Dats why from de beginning i know dat i have to put more afford on my study... but wat to do... events addict... )

Well lets go back to our topic, in 1 of his class, he told us something that i'll never forget. He told us " for us, business people, there are 2 very important principles that we must always bear on mind if you want to survive otside."

rule number 1

1. CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

rule number 2

2. IF IN SOME CIRCUMSTANCESS WHEN CUSTOMER IS WRONG ...

(then he stop for a awhile... i've alrd wondered wat method he'll teach us to handle dat kind of customer; by threat? by law? u know what he said? he calmly continues...) THEN REFER TO RULE NUMBER 1 (What The...??)

But however, it's funny yet mocking. At de beginning i think, it's unfair isn't it? But eventually, i realize dat fact. Life is always unfair, there is no way u expect everything as wat u plan. But some times, don't you realize that you will more appreciate a thing you get after you used to be dissapointed by not getting what you expect? We actually being trained to accept this fact since we were child.

• primary school (you wonder why some girl just can simply askeed her frnds to replace her for tidying de class room)


• Secondary school (you shock when u saw people PAID others to do home work for them, to see a girl stand beside another girl who sitting and massages her (she thinks she is vip or what?) , to see people being bullied even they didn't do anything wrong )or maybe the hostel's rule stated dat we must @#$% or else we will be punished, but it doesn't work for few girls since they are VERY CLOSE to de "ham sap" warden.


• College (at de beginning you can't understand why there are existance of people called FREE RIDERS in every project, assignment, to see people who didn't do work get reward while people who actually is people behind the stage are not recognized) Even you wish to do a thing to change this "culture", u can't do much, and AGAIN , you learn dat"if you can't manage to change your environment, then change yourself, change your perception, be flexible." Ok... i think i slowly will try to accept these fucking true FACTS .


• Maybe next time when i'm working outside, i'll be expose to more more dis kind of craps. Maybe my proposal or idea is very good but being rejected and hold by my superior who then take it as his own idea and get promoted... who knows?

Yeah, this is life. Finally, I come to a conclusion:

You should not care on wat u see. Just do your responsibility as good as you can without bothering others who didn't put efford as much as you. Believe that at the end, you will get what you deserve to get, you will learn as much as what you paid for.

Rule is created by people, if you can do nothing to change the rule, then persuate people who set the rule(without letting them feel that you are challanged his leadership because it's human's nature tend to protect themselves when they feel they are get attack. You must know how to influence them slowly and make sure every single decision they did is exactly what you want them to do)

REAL ME VS UNREAL ME

I'm not sure what time i began to have this kind of thinking
Don't know whether it's good or bad
I set a high expectation on my self, and also do de same thing to others.. even i know i am not them and have no right to determine what they should be. Maybe because i care... so i'll take themselves as apart of me, expect them to be what i think best for them. I forgot that they must have reason to do a thing... i don't know them, don't know their story... How can i expect them to be as me as i become my self today because of my own story? Who care about my story?

I love every wonderful thing; SPA, massage, noon tea, yoga I love shopping, i love wine, i love ball. I love flamigo i love waltz I love instrumental, i love to be alone but i hate lonely... I love branded but i tend to buy lots of cheap stuffs that look like a HIGH CLASS stuff. sometimes, even me don't know what really i want, TO BE A REAL ME or TO BE WHAT I EXPECT MYSELF TO BE. maybe that's a type of gemini, never be in stable condition.

I guess now i know why i expect to get a spouse who elder so so so much than me, the one that i feel calm whenever i look into his eyes, no matter how terrible is my emotion. The one with high taste and knowledge that can lead me, teach me alot of thing, teach me how to life, teach me how to love myself, even i know no body will love you if you yourself didn't do it first. The one who can thing further than i am for my own good, the one who has capability and good in socialize, the one who can keep give me feedback to improve instead of afraid of me and pardon me, the one who can control me when i can't control my ego and pride, the one who can take me everywhere (even de place whe never reach before)and can control all kind of situation without let us look like fools.

But can forget about it, at least now, i know it almost impossiblle to find that kind of man in campus... What i can do now is improve and continuing improve my quality so that i'll be a woman that worth to be loved by that kind of man. And about de things I bought and used, i persist that USING A CHEAP STUFF THAT MAKE YOU LOOK ELEGANT IS BETTER THAN YOU LOOK SO CHEAP EVEN YOU WEAR BRANDED ALL OVER YOUR BODY.

I believe that a person's elegance and cheap is a nature thing that can't be cheat, It's comes from inner part, everybody can feel it even they don't know what is it, even though sometimes i'll tend to evaluate somebody i just met from one's gesture, speech & outlook (told u i'm gemini) but what's de point you wear all branded stuff when you even don't know how to respect yourself? So dats not de point you determine one's personality. I love branded stuff, I love cheap stuff. i love to be me, i love to be better me, cos i'm gemini, i've dual personality, but who cares... i'm just a happy me and i love to be me ^_^

CHANGED

Tell my self to be strong

Tell my self to be independent

Tell my self to improve

Tell my self to achieve my goals

Time didn't pass for nothing

All the thing i done are not worth for nothing

I learn skill of communicate, skill of leadership, skill to protecting myself & even skill to destroy... in other way round.

cos i thought dat's de way if u want to survive outside... all alone

how to manage relationship, art to persuate people, all things i can't learn in class.

thank you for the knowledge and the ability... i will use it to my maximum to perform my task

为什么？？？

谁说不能承受生命中的感动
我们拥抱过东京最美丽的梦
你的一双手有多不同, 当时我无法形容
放下才明白爱情有多重.
你一路陪著我每当我也学个够
不够爱我的人再美丽只是个梦
我的一双眼是为什么想起你总那么红
你能够痛著对我好难道我能假装不懂

全世界看不起你难道我就能对不起你
就是爱看你这样子样子还有什么关系
全世界看不起你难道我就能骗我自己
爱情不只一场欢喜
以后只是一个回忆
拥抱你我就会舍不得哭泣.

我的一双眼为什么轻轻地想起了你就变得通红
爱情让人不分轻重不能承受的回忆就留给东京铁塔保守秘密