Dangerous Time

We live in a very dangerous time and the only thing that separate us from being barbarian is the LAW

Boxing Day

"Each time I see a friend success, a very small part of me is dying." Seen this some where. Well said I would say... to be honest. 


It has been forever for me, dreaming to study abroad as university student in European country. I missed it.
After got my degree, there is a little wish inside me to at least spend 4 months work and travel around at western country, I missed my chance.
Now, I', struggling to survive in my MBA course... for another 1 year.


Scold me ungrateful... that many people don' even has chance to study abroad. Many don't even has opportunity to be educated. And me, stand here complaining about my life in overseas. 


Yesterday, saw a classmate's photo on facebook, what a warm Christmas she had in UK with a British family. 
Today, another friend landed safely at Perth, West Australia, saw his photo with a Australian family, Christmas dinner with a kind looking family who happened to be strangers. 
My heart... from sour, to bitter... into sorrow... then misery. I burst into tears. I'm glad they enjoy their Christmas. It's just my "eager to win" attitude and my ego... Why I cant get something that is possible for people to have? For that I regret, At this moment, everything seems so unfair to me. I can't accept this! Kinda blame everything! Kinda fed up and Im in a mess now.


But this is not ME if I'll just regret everything and give up my life. I will make this as motivation. I will fight for what I want!!! WATCH ME... and YOU'LL SEE!!! I DAY I WILL. I DEFINITELY WILL GET ANYTHING I WANT!

自信 尊严

电话， 打了一次没人接，就不要再打第二次
短信， 发了两次没有回，就不要再发第三次
没有这么卑微的等待


如果你重要， 迟早会回来的
没必要为不懂得珍惜的人犯贱自己


如果一个人开始敷衍你
请你离开


保持一份自信， 保持一份尊严
宁可高傲到发霉， 也不要死缠到发疯

An hour talk session with Dell Asia Pacific Managing Director, Pang Yee Beng

17/10/2011 CPS

It's almost fifth weeks since I started my MBA and several number of CEO, Founder, and Director have been invited by my uni through Leadership Series Program. I attended most of them but this is de 1st time I post my thought about the talk.

De moment he step in, he looked like any ordinary middle age man, clean and tidy. That's de 1st impression. The further he talk and interact with students, de more interesting  we found his personality. The charisma embraced and the humbleness and frankness get my respect immediately.

Seen lots of leaders,  in all ages, worked with and for them in different occasion. Normally, the younger they are, the more arrogant they are... of course regardless their capability and outlook. For me, what inside counts. Intelligent + Arrogance = Ignorance... and everything else ... will gone! This fella is a great leader indeed, who know how to dig his people's best interest and make his people feel good about themselves.

 The content of talk not much different from many other inspirational talks, but since it's limited for smaller group of post graduate students, there was better interaction as he keep encourage is to ask question and require our responds. Also impressed by the way he response and answer my question. Overall, we enjoy the talk, especially when he ended the session by saying, "Maybe 1 day, I might work for you",which made everyone burst into laughter. While I was confirming that everyone's name has been taken before submit the attendance list to the faculty, we happened to meet outside the lecturing room again and I happened to shake his hand to thank him for his presence.

He mentioned about technology, mentioned about Facebook, so after came back from the talk, I simply type de name for fun and really found him. This man, who looked this young, live such busy lifestyle that required lot of travelings and business trips is actually married and have adorable 2 kids. This is what called BALANCE. Bless this family.

That night, I have a picture, let me have a husband with personality and quality like him in the future. The next time we meet each other again in, when my man (who happened to be his business partner) introduce their wives to each other, I will say "I knew you, you are dat fella who gave talk in my Uni" and he'll reply
"I remember you, we are friends on facebook."

It motivates me to keep moving forward and belief in myself to do all my best to complete my study, pursue better career, have a lovely family of my own and make a good living... same as what he has now. Leadership... is INSPIRING people ~_~ 

别人

别人亦很好
别人亦都很爱我
其实暗地一直怪他不是你
每晚唉声叹气
梦里见不到你


如何能和你就此不相见
有时还会恨
然后我有我生活
然后你再爱别人


如何能和你认了和你不相瀙
有时依不忿
如若要爱你是这样靠天份
这世上除了我 谁能爱你

有事 没事

很多人向我抱怨 谁谁谁 平日无影无踪 有事才来找他们。我说，其实你更应该怕的， 是那些有事没事 都跑来找你的人 lol

boy vs gentleman

A boy makes his girl jealous of other women. A gentleman makes other women jealous of his girl

golden rule

Money can't buy happiness but it's more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle
Forgive your enemy but remember that bastard's name
Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you... when they are in trouble again
Many people are alive only because it's illegal  to shoot them
Alcohol does not solve any problem, but again, neither does milk

你挥霍了我的崇拜

我还以为我们能    ，不同于别人

我还以为不可能的，不会不可能

风筝有风 海豚有海 我存在在我的存在

所以明白 所以离开

所以不再为爱 而爱

可能的 可以的 真的可惜了

不再奢望 所以遗憾。。。

责任，包袱

曾几何时 我们已习惯于活在“责任”与“包袱”中。

所以，当你不再背负任何责任时，你才会莫名的感到彷徨与不安。

怀念过去，忙得无法开交之际，偷懒的 看下书，停下歌，看下戏。。。

反而能苦中作乐，自得其乐 的感觉。

此时此刻，当你真正可以放从自己去做想要做的事时，却无法尽情的享受。

仿佛还有什么， 在等着你去完成。

Great Man

I find any great man, black or white
I'm going to study him, learn him
So he can't be great to me no more

Hard

It's hard to pretend that you love someone when yo don't
But it's harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do

放下

放下才明白
爱你有多种

爱

爱 是一种经历
即使是破碎
都会觉得美丽

Don't

Don't ask me
Ask reality...

在这里

我在这陌生的地方
爱上了太阳和云
爱上了我最熟悉的温暖。。。
与自由

Dissapear

You sometimes think you want to disappear,
but all you really want is to be found.

Basically

Basically,


I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me, you'd spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish that I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Shalt Not

Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants
Use it to get into their heads

Don't Worry

Don't worry what people think
They don't do it very often

Accept - Change

Accept what you can't change
Change what you can't accept

miss

I miss your smile
But I miss mine more

Society

We live in the society that teaches "DON'T get raped" instead of "DON'T rape"

I don't care

I don't care if you are black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian,short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you are nice to me, I will be nice to you. Simple as that.


Eminem

Real

Monsters are real
Ghosts are real too
They live inside us
And sometimes they win


Stephen King

Are You Ok ?

"Are you ok?"

I am acting like I'm ok
So please don't interrupt my performance.

恶霸

其实 我不那么怕恶霸的人
再凶 再恶， 只要他们讲理， 我依然会坦然面对
我最怕的， 时遇到那些无知，霸道，又野蛮的人
有理也说不清
当人与人之间已忘了如何将心比心， 开再多次的会议，也是毫无意义的

push

these few days so emo
don't even know i'm capable of facing such things before
don't even know there is another men who capable of giving me such pressure again
i think... i've met the second dragon in my life

说不出的感触

我以为，人长得越大 ，
就越会控制自己的思绪 
就越善于隐藏内心的感受
遇到什么挫折，都会以轻轻的微笑，带过
再也没有什么事情 可以让我伤心得立刻想流泪
因为眼泪渗出眼眶前， 往往早已在心里，悄悄的蒸发


而如今， 在这短短的30分钟课堂上， 我发现 我错了
心里竟然，还是会 那么的悲伤，那么的失落
回到家，一边啃着面包，一边落泪
哭到想作呕，吃到好想吐
最后，竟然埋头大哭，
好久没有哭得那么放肆了


去游泳想疏解复杂的情绪，
心想，或许游累了，心便会好些，
遇到班上同学，问他，我是不是失常了，
是不是压力太大，才会像是连续被三个男人甩掉似的。。。那么脆弱


他说， 我是正常的，因为他也很失落，像是被强奸三个月被放出来的感觉
所以 我应该 还是正常的。。。
是“他”在我们心中 占了很重要的位置
所以我们才会不知所措

心中的分量

心里 很沉重
没有想到 他在我心里会有那么大的分量


从小 就不是什么模范生
也被几个老师痛骂过
但 我都以一笑而过的心态面对


我说过 我不大会给自己找麻烦
更不会跟自己过不去
错都错了 骂也骂了
睡个觉 明天还是会一样的笑


成几何时 我把人与物看得那么重
成几何时 我会那么认真对待生活


很奇妙
他就是有办法
让人 睡不好  吃不好 
让心 很失落 很失落
原来 他在我心里 真有那么大的分量

我

我爱好奇    ，至少我知道什么时候该停止
我无理取闹，至少错的时候会去道歉
我很贪玩    ，至少我会看事情的轻重
我 常闯祸   ，至少事后会从中学习，不再犯同样的错
别说我幼稚，我只想好好把握每一刻 
去热爱生命，去体验生活

女人

女人 要懂得察言观色
该道歉的时候道歉
该霸道的时候霸道
该妥协的时候妥协
该放下的时候放下
我不是个聪明的女人
但我不大会给自己找麻烦

我等你

每一次 我在外面忙到乱的时候， 你就突然来。
现在好了， 我即好日子， 静静坐在家等你来， 你又不来。
真不敢想象， 还要跟你过上半辈子。
不要再玩我了。。。大姨妈 =_=''

photos with smile

Go through old photos in de album.

Every photo is smiling, Each photo shows the exact same smile.

But I can still remember the stories behind each picture, 

I can still feel the tears, pains and regrets behind that smile.

Some are those I don't dare to recall. 

Some even give me nightmare when I come to sleep

After all, this is life

At least...I got my moment

At least...I am still smiling

那一年

那一年 
那些汗 那些泪
彷徨 犹豫 疲劳 压力
换来耀眼的成就
但 也是我最不想回忆的一年


而如今 
这种感觉又回来了
我好怕好怕
哭着入睡 哭着冲凉哭着醒来
这世上到底有多少人有本事影响你 那么多

ChOiCe

 

Some choice, you made on your full intention
Some, after deep consideration
Some, simply because you have no other option
The worst thing is, you know there is other option, but you are not allowed to make it

DeAr LiFe

Dear life,

When I said "Can my day get any worst"

It was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Nobody Wants

Don't you misinterpret those who always say "Nobody wants"

From the surface, they might seems humble or often assumed as lack of confidence or self esteem. 

Try to see the big picture. If they really lack of confidence, will they have the courage to said it loudly in the crowd "Yeah, nobody wants me loh!"?

It require LOTS of self confidence (too some extent, it's fair enough to say that they must have at least some sense of ARROGANCE that they try to hide behind their so called "HUMBLENESS")

So, next time, whenever you hear people say "Nobody wants me" when they were asked why they are still single, feel free to think twice whether they are really that humble ^_^

It'S aBoUt

It's not about benefits, It's about passion

It's not about expecting a change, It's about making a change

It's not about being the best, It's about improving yourself

It's not about dreaming, It's about achieving your dream

Life was never about destination but has always been about journey

I know I know

I know whom my heart with, I know I know

回家的路

走了那么久 你还记得 回家的路吗？

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien - No, I regret nothing

no nothing at all

no I regret nothing

not the good done to me

nor the bad 

It's all same to me

no nothing at all 

no I regret nothing

It's all paid, wiped, forgotten

I don't care about the past

with my memories

I lit up the fire

my troubles, my pleasures

I don't need them anymore

I have wiped away my stories

and all their tremble 

wiped away forever

I will start again from zero

no nothing at all

no I regret nothing

for my life

for my joy

on this day

will began with you

@the more you love@

I found that, the more you love someone the more quiet you will be in front of him.

If he happened to be anyone else, an ordinary friend;

you can simply find a topic,

you can simply make a joke,

you can laugh like nobody's business .

But, the more you love him

You will act like you don't care

You will try to make a distance

You can't even say a word in front of him

It doesn't feel good to love someone that much

line

I'm really sorry if I across the line. You know I guess after being given too much freedom since very young, I just don't know where the line is anymore. 

逼出来的坚强

哭的时候没人哄， 我学会坚强

怕的时候没人陪， 我学会勇敢

烦的时候没人问， 我学会承受

累的时候没人依靠， 我学会自立

就这样 我找到了自己

原来我很优秀 很可贵的

世界上， 我只有一个，只有我一个

渐渐的 我成熟了

知道了 人，是被逼出来的

明白了 有压力，才有动力

因为没有更大的不如意

所以现在的不如意也是幸福的

IF

If I can Eat and Sleep and Forget

lose

The moment you lose your temper

You lose your respect

this game

In this game

I only have 1 life

5 levels of sorrow

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

jealous

When people get jealous

They become very dangerous

I believe

I believe it must be a very difficult thing to hate someone

I believe there must be a lot of pains that make us hate someone

when someone

When someone pissed you off... he really did, and you get angry... you really did... and you feel like rip him apart, but when you saw his stupid face... You can hardly control yourself from laughing.... You just feel want to bang your head to the wall !!!

Big Dream

When we were young, we have lots of BIG dreams.

As we grown up, we realized that it's hard to accomplish those dreams,

So we tend to be more realistic by start dragging down our dream, turn it to a smaller simpler and more affordable because the way will be though for us to achieve those BIG dreams. Why don't we RAISE UP our QUALITY so we deserved those BIG dreams? Don't stop trying. Don't stop believing.

rule

Don't just follow the rule

Be the one who set the rule

mistake

There are certain things in life when you know its a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know the mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say " Yes, that was a mistake" So the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is mistake or not

How Hard

It is not how hard you being hit

It is how hard you can be hit

inhale, exhale

Inhale Exhale No big Deal

attracted

Always attracted to assholes

Guys I thought I could fixed

own way

no thought no reflection no analysis no cultivation no intention

let it settle it self ... in his own way

escape

I wonder

No matter how far you travel

or how much you run from it

Can you ever really escape your past?

far more

Research shown that "most people will do far more to avoid pain than to experience pleasure"

That is why advertisers found it's more effective to use statement like "Aren't you hungry now?"

"Do you suffer from headache?""Can't sleep at night?"

No wonder business study covered psychology too.

By knowing certain fact that often overlooked by people, you can turn everything to $$$

Frustrated

Frustrated! All I need now is REINFORCEMENT, and I don't care whether it is positive or negative

special needs

People need to understand that children with special needs are not sick.

They are not searching for cure, just acceptance.

watch

Watch you thoughts, they become your words,

Watch your words, they become your actions,

Watch your actions, they become habits,

Watch your habits, they become character,

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

SaVe ThE WorLd

When we were younger,

we think that we can save the world.

When you grew older,

you realized that even the whole world can't save you.

memories

I don't afraid of the memories

I just afraid I can't forget

gave up

We gave up on our ego

gave up on our principle

gave up on our stubbornness

Simply because we can't gave up someone

ARGUE

If you argue correctly, you're never wrong.

That is the beauty of argument.

When I was A kID

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night to give me an ability to do a good home work. Then I realized that the Lord, in His wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just let people did it for me and asked Him to forgive me

i don't afraid

I don't afraid of fierce people. nothing can't be negotiated

I do afraid of uncivilized people, nothing you can negotiate with them

temper issue

Yes, under certain circumstances I'll have temper complication. But technically, I am still a good girl. Peace ^_^

笑着哭

失落之处 依然会 笑着哭

country should progress

Although I am not the biggest fan of Singapore, somehow I can't deny its attractiveness. It is one of the counties where it's possible for you to achieve whatever you want in life. You do good, you survive. You do bad, you vanish. And because of that, everybody is trying real hard to get what they want. That is how a country should progress.

有些人

有些人 说不起哪里好

但就是 谁都替代不了

Don't Think

On presentation, my friend can finally calm her nerves down and start to present. She said "I think..." but the lecturer cut her words impatiently: "Don't think. Just say"

The rest of presentations, none of us dare to mention "I think". The other time, that lecturer tells us, "I don't want you all to blindly believe on the theories. Tell me what you think. It shows me that you really understand." Our conclusion is she was having PERIOD at that time!

branding

Received clothes to be donated to orphanage. Dis is the 3rd time people find me when they have things to donate. Recently studied about "branding". Maybe it applies on people too. Once you join a charity club, no matter how long you have been stepped down from BOD, the label follows you.

simple

Sometimes, happiness is very simple. Finished your coffee then rush for your morning class. Then discover the light smell of coffee once you enter the room when you coming back home is a happiness too.

有些人

有些人 为了自由 放弃信念 放弃尊严 放弃亲情 放弃家庭
却忘了 人 应该为了自由而自由

food chain

Sometimes I wonder
If life is a food chain
Where am I now?

life is bitch

Life is a bitch!
So I'm gonna how it I will not survive only!
I will shine!

You Can Fail

My uncle told me: "You can fail your test. You can fail your subject. But don't you ever skip classes. De life experience dat ur lecturer share in class is priceless. Dat's what u are actually paying for. Dat's why people insist to go to college no matter how hard it is"

He isn't work in education. He build and sell property, and yet he realized de thing dat not even cross to my head. How much have I missed? I won't skip class anymore. Too bad, its already study week

26 July 2010

freedom

Freedom is not coincidence

balance

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving

- Albert Einstein

arrogant

We tend to be arrogant because we throught we knew alot after we learnt something in the class room. In fact, we are not. Don't ever look down the older who don't have a degree... because they have learnt things that only life can teach.

Change De World

When you are not satisfy with something around you, u have 2 choices;

1. Change that thing
2. Change yourself and live with it

final decision

Final decision is bullshit
Decisopm made by people
People isn't static
Therefore decision isn't static
U manage to change dat person's perception, you manage to change the "final decision"

over confident

Sometimes, you hate yourself for doubting yourself
Sometimes, you hate yourself for your over confidence

Giver Taker

He said, "There are 2 people in this world. Giver and Taker. U wanna work reak hard to make sure dat you are giver, and you wanna spend most of the time with the giver and u wanna becareful too, bcs there are people who pretend to be giver, but deep down inside, they are taker. You know out there, it's isn't easy to see de difference"

perfection

You will find the excitement and freedom of your single life perfect... until you fall sick

PERSISTENCE

Persistence is not doing the same action over and over again and getting de same failure as the result. That is called insanity. Persistance is being able to stick to doing something until it is done right and profitably. Persistance pays

- Kevin Hogan

just listen

Don't solve my problem. Just listen to me.

WHEN

When dad call and scold, he will says "Why you always... just like your mother"
When mom call and scold. she will says"Why you always... just like your father"
Hallo... Who do you expect me to look like??? =.=''

@LET HIM GO@

Someone once said, "If you love someone so badly, set him free. If he comes back to you, It will be yours forever"

It takes time

It takes time to persuate men to do even what is for their own good
- Thomas Jefferson-

Human Application

"NICE TO SEE, NICE TO HOLD, ONCE BROKEN, CONSIDERED SOLD"
How nice if it could be applied on people too

Over Qualified

Interviewer: Based on your previous achievement, you are over qualified. You are not supposed to be here.
Interviewee: I know, exploit me

- Indecent Proposal

Asset Liability

Be people's asset, not liability.
Make people your asset, not liabilities.

火

如果火都要为了照亮别人而去燃烧自己 那我做水好了

joke

1st time you hear a joke, it sounds funny.
Few times hearing it, it might sounds lame.

1st time you read a story, it seems touching.
Few times reading it, it doesn't make any sense.

Appreciate bad things when they happen.
If only good things keep happening to you,
you don't know how to cherish them when they around.

believe

The longer you learn marketing subjects, the more example of "successful business strategies" you being exposed, which are you actually inspired you. When it comes to business ethic part, you being told that it's unethical to do things that you LEARNT in the past with the exactly same set of examples. At the end, you don't know what to believe anymore. At the end, you don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore. This is so interesting.

Won , Loss

I've won
I've lost
But I'm fine ^_^

Success Stories

I love success stories.
Whenever I hear about someone who went from zero to one million it makes me feel good inside. I know that the American Dream is still alive!

贵族

爸爸说：我要你做的， 是一个贵族， 而不是爆发户。
所以无论你多么富有， 无论你在什么地方，都要谦虚，礼貌，不卑不亢，虚心学习自己不会的，不懂的。只有这样，你才会不断进步，爬上巅峰。

一样

一样的眼睛有不一样的看法

一样的耳朵有不一样的停发

一样的嘴巴有不一样的说法

一样的心 有不一样的想法

是不是因为这样

一样的人生才有不一样的喜乐与哀愁

people thought

People thought I never feel stress... well I do... and it almost takes my breath away.
It just that I throw them behind first, and set a particular session for myself to completely feel the all the stress, sadness, depress, frustration, or whatever it might called... so I can enjoy the rest of my time doing other stuff without any disturbance. It takes time to train this... and it aint easy T_T

心。梦

心若在 梦就在

Han Dynasty

The Han Dynasty during their rule wioll sometimes leane their enemy alive,
disfiguring a man in the most protean manner.
It was a message for all those who opposed their rule.
They understood the psychological effect would have on the masses,
that there was a price to pay for their action.

抉择

做错了抉择 并不是最糟糕的事
最糟糕的 是你做错了抉择之后 没有办法重新来过

心机 野心

心机重了点 野心大了点 没人会怪你
表面功夫做得不够体面而伤了大局 就是你的过失

wisdom

Wisdom is more important than knowledgeable.

Wisdom is being aware of how your act and words affect those near to you. Wisdom is recognizing whether you say or do something, it can come back to haunt you or to embrace you.

Wisdom is being able to see the trapping of life and becoming aware of how to avoid pitfalls along the way.

@forget@

If you can not forget someone, then stop trying.
To really forget doesn't need any effort.

New Year Gift

Ok, it' 12.37am and it's officially Chinese New Year now. So happy Chinese New YeaR to myself. I'm not going back... not this time... and now I wonder if it's a mistake. People supposed to be having steamboat with their family in the roudn table now. And I stuck here. By the way, I am leaving to Malacca tomorrow.

So I ask those little left over boy, my sister's friends who didn't back to their hometown to have a simple dinner. Atleast a simple gathering will do.

And I received an email from work and travel, the y offer new program. And it's the 1st in 5 years. It is a 6 months to 1 year intern in US. Wish I could get it. This will be the BEST New Year present for me.

社会

社会很复杂 害人之心不可有 防人之心 不可无

SHIP

A ship is safe in harbour.

But that is not what the ships are for.

-William G. Shedd-

The Best Leader

To lead people, walk beside them
As for the best leaders, people do not notice their existance
The next best, people honour and praise
The next, people fear
And the next, people hate
When the best leader's work is done,
the people say, "we did it ourselves!"

Lao Tzu

sleep with a smile

I am kind of person who manage to easily find reasons to convince myself for everything I did most of the time. So the last thing you want to do is to give me motive to do something bad. Because you know, I can still sleep with a smile after I did that thing.

试 TEST

试金 可以用火
试女人 可以用金
试男人 可以用女人

test gold with fire
test women with gold
test men with women

追求 珍惜

如果你懂得珍惜 你会发现 你获得的越来越多
如果你一昧追求 你会发现 你失去的越来越快

@unconditional love@

Since I was an adult and know things,
I found many reasons not to believe in something called "unconditional love"

I believe everything happened for a reason
I believe everything happened because of a reason, or condition, or circumstancess

Even for typical example that people often used to confront me, such as the love of you parents is unconditional, I found it bullshit

They love you with a reason, too.
They love you under 1 condition.
You must be their own child.
Their love won't be the same if you happened to be other people's child.

But then, I grew up
But then, I met this man.
But then I couldn't help my self to be dragged down.

You never know you are capable to be hurt so much by someone but still care for him.
You never know you could bear with someone's attitude to this extent.
You never know you can miss someone so much after what he hurt you with his words and actions.
You never know you can love someone since has nothing, until he has everything, from the day he enter your life, till the day he left.

Dissapear from you eye, dissapear for your room, dissapear from the planet... again!

Perhaps, this is what people called unditiomal love.
Or perhaps, this is only a mind of a young lady who couldn't be reconciled that she can not conquer this man.

stealing time

I love stealing time from busy people.
The more time these people spend time on me,
the more important I feel myself to them.

Gosh, I love being appreciated.

@I Love Him@

I love him.
That was never the question.

It's just that I couldn't figure out how to stop making each other desperately, shriekingly, soul-punishingly miserable.

I had wished that I could behaved more like a true lady.
Independent, strong, self- sufficient, A SELF FEEDER.

End up those exactly times I tried so hard to stop letting my man feeding my soul.
And I, tried same hard, stop trying to eat his soul. And this is killing me slowly.

I had wished to be a woman who ask nothing of anybody.

But I can't help feeling lonely and heart sick to be with this person who always dissapearing from my eye, from the room, from the planet.

There is a constant level of closeness that I really need from the person I love.

romantic

Some husbands hold their wives' hands in the mall. Because if he leaves her hand, she will go shopping. It looks romantic but it's actually economic

highest level

In 1st year, you learn to set up a business
(you start to have an ambition to have a big corporation)

In 2nd year, you learn to maximize profit
(you start to think out marketing strategies to manipulate people, you even ever try to figure out how to escape from tax)

And now, in your final year, you learn about corporate social responsibility
(now, you are not focus only on making money for your current profit, but to protect your environment and concern about your society so that your future generation, is able to sustain and survive)

At the end, it's all come back to ethic, moral, peace, and love.
I hope this is the highest level of making money.
I hope this is not just a naive dream to achieve.

New York

People said that you are empire state of mind
People said if you can make it there you can make it anywhere

For me you are so close yet so far

You are so close that;
I see your building from almost every movie I watched
I understand your people from every tv series I seen
I know alot about your culture from every website and books and newspaper and magazine
I exposed to your states and museum from lots of friends who happened to study there

It makes me feel to have certain bonding, to have certain connection to you
You are so familiar yet so strange

Can't wait to explore you
Can't wait to challange you

I believe I can make it
I will prove to myself that I can make it there

New York, wait for me
I will be there...
SOON

To have my own eat pray love journey
To have my own American Dream

@sometimes@

sometimes I think we are friends
sometimes I feel we are more than friends
sometimes I even feel that we are not better than strangers
so what are we