It's officially May now. 3 weeks from now will be my cousin's wedding... and here I am, listening to my favorite jazz by Laura figy. What to prepare? Many cousins frm different countries will be gather. What will be the 1st impression I should give? How will my my entrance? Is it bombastic? or will it be de way who I am?
Ops, tonite dat turtle came by... drop by. I don't understand. He said he came by to drag movies... but he didn't bring his hard disc. So we just sit on the bed... say nothing... d nothing. watch "don't know what" movie.
Gosh, girl, it's not dat you never being alone with a guy. It's not that you never been in relationship. It's nit that you never slept with a guy. What the hack with those nervous breakdown? what the heck with those heart beat?
He keep taking pictures of your stuff, of your room. He keep having opinion and make noise about your stuff... wat the hell... then why come??
He wash the aircond filter for you, he helps you to put on new bed sheet,. Last time he came by, he made you reorganize your drawer, he threw away the so called "nearly explode" battery, whenn u organize ur stuff, you pass the rubbish for him to throw. It just a very simple, normal thing but the the thing is he act like you are his biggest enemy at outside. What the hell? And stupid you feel fine to be treated that way? You should have kick him out your house... Why you feel like nothing wrong with that?
Why did you give him back rub? and why did you lay on his back and doesn't feel strange? You never did that to any friend. Why you feel it's the way it suppose to be when he hold an umbrella to cover you from rain? Aren't you enemy? Why will he call, msn, sms, come ocassionally, unpredictably? He can always find you, you can never reach him. WAKE UP. THIS IS PROBABLY A MISTAKE. DON'T FALL ANY DEEPER.
You will rather cut any of this and end this before you get hurt further. But why you don't even have courage to kick him out of your house? Why you have no enuf courage to forbit him to come? Why you can't even let him being locked outside... don't open the door for him? Don't need to answer me now. You probably need rest. You probably need a bath. and that's what exactly I am going to do now.
It seems like I had ruin my plan to learn Italian song, but I did manage to sing jazz, progress counted ^_^
