When I see old folks or disable people; no matter in the train, bus station, or any places,I can't control my self but to offer them some helps... even before they don't ask for it, even if they looks healty, even if they don't feel need it, even if there is possibility for them to reject me.
I am a person with a very high ego,
I will feel annoyed if people have opinion againts me
There was a time, when I saw an old fold in a train,
Deep inside my heart, i want to help
But I will worry alot.
What if people think that I am busy body
What if people think that I am fake
What if the old folk reject me in front of people
What if after I stand up, other people are already reach him 1st
so I keep sitting
so I keep waiting
so I keep strungling
so he keep standing
till few stations passed and he went down
I can never forget his back,
The moment he walk away, his shoulders and feet are shaking
because he too tired, because he stand too long
That night I can't sleep
Till now, still feel guilty
There is a phsycological test that proved that the more people in a place, the lower initiative will be taken by people when something happen... because people tend to wait and think that others will do. The responsibility has been shared. I don't know what others (people in that bus) think but i really feel bad.
Since that time, no matter how much I insist of my ego,
Whenever i see old folks, I will rush and offer my seat or other help at the 1st place
No matter if people really tease me by saying I am fake
No matter people say i am a lier
No matter is they really happen to reject my offer
At least I can sleep well at night
I will no longer care for other's perception toward what I did when it comes to this matter
I will no longer to let the idea of "maybe others will do"
I will stand up and be the person who do
I can't change others
but I hope... really hope, by change my own attitude
by start from my self,
people will be awake and aware,
maybe they will feel shame after seeing what I did
maybe they will regret that they are not the one who offer to help at the 1st place
maybe after that day they will be another me, who take initiative to help rather than wait
I am not perfect, I am not an angel.
I just do things that I feel confortable and leave no regret
Thanks old man, he changed my life... without a word, without a lesson, without any interaction...
Somehow, this proved to myself that I am actually have a good nature.
hehe, may with all these positive attitudes that I have, I will be happy.
May all my dream comes true... but too many ambition, why are you so greedy ^.~
