As i said, my ego is very high that not allowed me to step back or give up... and i apply this principle to my working life. Time goes by fastly and before i realize, tomorrow will be my last day working at Acomodation Office. Now i have complete my challange. I tried all the works... even guys' work. I challanged my self, i over come my barriers to adapt to the new environment, build the relatonship from zero with new people, see another side of things and directly on field with all the process regarding acomodation procedures.
Now, after almost 2 weeks working, i can handle almost all the task and even give suggestions already, and honestly, i start to enjoy my work. Still remember 1st time i came, i felt like a stranger.
All the things seems weird. But i belief that this is a natural process that will be tried by everyone. I have to adapt if i want to improve. Just give me some time, and i will be fine. I will mix with this group of strangers. And yesterday... they played cards at my place after work. I am also the one who suggest to make a surprise party for a colleque whose birthday is the day after tomorrow. So, this proved that if i didn't give up when i meet tough things, everything will be just fine. These few days working over time... tired but enjoyed. Now... in 2 weeks, i am already a part of them. Good job dear.
I have no rest time at all, yesterday and today doing mostly outdoor work, tired like hell. After tomorrow'a work, i have to continue to be facilitator for orentation week. Tomorrow is the briefing time. And i still need to plan for my camp; committee camp. Sometime you just feel helpless. But there is just something inside your heart asks you to stand still. I used to imagine if i resigned from ALPHA team and become ordinary student. There will be no competition, no obligation, no stress, no responsibilities. I can fully utilized my spare time.
My friend, senior , brother, officer; Mr Raymond told me that 1 of the famous Miss Universe's judger said "Those candidades who said that they love reading is bull shit. Nodody will make studying as hobby... compare to hang out, having party and enjoy with friends. The think is we realize the importance of fulfilling ourselves with knowledge then we control our self and tell ourselves to sacrifice the time for having fun to study."
Some time, i salute this guy. He read alot of books and he remember, and manage to apply the things he used to read. As when i complain if i working straight away at the college once i gaduated, my salary will be very low. Because they can only treat it as internship... because i am not local. Then he asked whether i still remember what the Robert Kiyosaki wrote in the book 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad'. The rich dad said, "don't bother how much you earn, just concern on how much you learn." This words heard similar to the word my coach, senior, friend; Mr Arthur said "if you only care about how much money will you get when you were asked to do some work, at the end of the day, you will only end up getting few bucks of pocket money... you will learn nothing."
How sure a am that i can really "utilized" my time to do or learn something that will be benefit for myself if i quit from ALPHA team? Thirst of authority, thirst of power, thirst of recognition. Maybe this is a very horrrible things for other people, maybe people will look down on or feel that i am dirty me when they know my ambition. Maybe, in people's perception is common, these attitude is the root of evil. But for me, these are the only thing that motivate me to stand still until this moment.
Today, number of students who check in are increasing. Some of them are accompanied by their parents. I saw my dad in their dad's face. Looked straight and firm. Supervise their son and daughter carefully. Sometimes when they feel the things their children said is not exactly correct, they just can not control themselves to jump out and settle for their children, leaving their children stand quiet there, withput any chance to settle down their own problem. It felt bad... and shame... i knew it because i used to be treated same way when i was 12, when i was 1st time study abroad. For our parents, that is the way they show their love. This is parent's natural reaction. That's why since and then, i will rather do all the procedure and visa, even passport thing alone. I want them to trust me... so that i will have confidence... so that i will trust my self that i can actually settle down my own thing,
I used to read a book; there is a so called perfect mother, every night, she read bed time story for her daughter... and she did it for years. One day, at the middle of the night, she felt thirsty and decide to go to the kitchen to have some water. When she passed by her daughter's room, she was surprice to see that the light was on (she already off it when she came out from there after read her daughter bed time story and make sure that she has slept). when she enter the room silently, she saw her daughter was doing her revision. She then asked her daughter curiously why is she soing that? Then the little girl replied "I know you can only sleep well after you know that i am slept, so i just pretend to slept everynight and do my home work an revision after you going to bed" So actually the mother is babysitting the child or the child is baby sitting athe mother? LOVE is a very simple thing. Some time, even a child who we though knew nothing, is actually more than what you see, maybe they even can do more than what you ever imagine. Never undersstimate a pure soul ^_^
